Unfortunately it has come to be nothing of a big deal if not expected to get divorced. It seems as though I hear about a new divorce every week and my response has become so calloused to it. I have long since fed into the mantra that it is better to split from an unhappy relationship then it is to stay and make the entire family miserable and prove to be poor role models for your children, showing them that you should be miserable if you're married. I say all of this now with huge weighing doubts. The old saying of "stay together for the kids" used to infuriate me, because kids don't want to live in a house where there is constant fighting or no love. In recent months my thoughts are changing though. In a society where it feels as though a couple is setup to fail and divorce comes so naturally I am seeing more and more children with tremendous emotional scars due to divorce. I can't help but feel as though we have come to accept relationships and their short lifespans, whereas the same old things are true about kids not dealing with it well and friends and family feeling uncomfortable and helpless. I guess it just amazes me that the general acceptance behind something like this has changed without any of the ramifications. It's not like it got any easier for anyone involved but it is shrugged off as though it did.
I have started trying to pant my nails and keep them painted, I have been a nail bitter since I was little and have been quiting since Austin was born. But of course because I have had my fingers in my mouth for decades the nails are brittle and peal easily, every time that I mention that I can't get them to grow out to a reasonable length, J asks me "well are you keeping nail polish on them?". Heck no, I just like to complain and then accidentally rip them off with my mouth when they split. :-) Although I never seem to have the 9 hours it takes to fully dry this stupid stuff so my nail polish always has dings in it.
We are dog sitting for our next door neighbor, we have her for 10 days or so and I have to say that even though she is a great dog and doesn't add any work to my day I am always a little more anxious when taking care of something for someone, if one of my dummies do something I will just take care of it, but what if this little dog gets hurt and I let my neighbor down.
I have had a server down for three weeks now, which essentially means that my email has been a barrage of butt chewing for the same time. The technician and I worked on it all weekend and my favorite quote that he said was "well hell it's already been down for three weeks, what's another couple of days gonna do?". Obviously this guy is not getting his rear torn up like I am over the whole deal.
I am sitting at my desk listening to Austin, who is failing at taking her afternoon nap...watching as apparently the X-Men land in my neighborhood fully equipped with Storm's amazing cloud cover. Seriously though within the last three minutes the entire sky has turn black, the wind is whipping and the dogs are hiding under my legs. Hopefully though it will rain a lot on my grass, Joe "made" (I put that in quotes because truly I just gave in and decided to use my battle strength for something more pertinent at a later date) me turn the sprinklers to water every other day so now my sod farm is not quite as lush.