Friday, July 23, 2010

Of course now I can't help but celebrate.

What a fantastic idea Kimberly, it is so easy to lose sight of what you are proud of and happy with at the moment but I am sure making a list of my accomplishments will help this be an amazing Friday!

  1. I laugh more than I cry. Inevitably I get asked at the safe house, generally from a mom who is debating on whether or not she made the right decision for her children..."How do I know I'm OK?". And I tell them every time, you need to get to a place where you laugh more than you cry. Anyone who has ever been in a truly awful place knows this isn't the case and anyone who has an amazing life knows that you still cry, you can't control everything. But if you can make sure that at the end of the day you laugh more than you have made it, you have reached the top of the mountain.
  2. I found someone to have a child with that is a truly amazing dad. While I consider it a bonus that I love him to pieces I can assure you that it is more important to me that Austin loves him so much. My Dad was never involved with my life and when he was it wasn't in a healthy way and after working with so many girls and taking so many self esteem training classes I have learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that a father's love and support directly affect a girl's self esteem.
  3. I'm a good big sister, I watched Intervention last night and it showcased a family of three boys with the oldest having a severe drug addiction. The other two brothers were torn to pieces that their brother was not only killing himself but they didn't have someone to take care of them. I am glad that I never let my siblings down like this.
  4. I am one of the only senior engineers at Verizon that is female. I would like to say the only one, because I have not come across another one, but because they employ 250,000 people I don't want to assume. And I did all of this without a college degree.
  5. I am the only volunteer that has her own group at the safe house, I write my own curriculum and am solely responsible to run the class.
  6. I can get down any mountain on a snowboard...period...and generally with a smile on my face. :-)
  7. I can ride a motorcycle and drive a stick shift.
  8. I invested more than most people make in a year on a small start up business and while it's frightening, I was able to do it.
  9. I am near half way done in my weight loss goals and feel amazing.
  10. Last but not least, I am a great friend. I don't lie, cheat or steal and always try and put my friends feelings before my own.

After posting this, I thought to myself that at least one person would probably ask why I didn't include that I proud of Austin or my realtionship with her. So I thought I would at least explain why I didn't. First, it's still hard for me to call myself a mom much less a good mom I just have such great respect for that title. Secondly, right now our relationship is the same as that of a babysitters I make sure she stays safe and well fed. The true tests will come years down the road when she needs to believe in herself...have I given her the tools to stand up for who she is, will she refuse to give into peer pressure. Will she help others and be kind even when it's not the trendy thing to do. When I can watch her help someone that cannot repay her or speak for someone without a voice I will call myself a good mom but until then I will do everything to make sure that I raise someone that will represent her name well.

1 comment:

Kim in Istanbul said...

Crystal, I loved your post and you definitely have a lot to feel proud of in your life! I also loved your thoughts on parenting. Very insightful and beautifully said! I'm sure Austin will turn out to be the kind and lovely person you're raising her to be! Hugs!