The Ring Diet

Anyone reading this knows that I am a completely neurotic person, so it should come as no surprise that when my wedding ring arrived on Saturday after ordering it (without trying it on I might add) I couldn't help but attempt to put it on to see what it looks like.  Well the problem in this story is that the day before we had done all that house shopping so I had a few cocktails Friday night.  Drinks make me swell, so when the ring wouldn't go on I was bummed but didn't think much of it...after all I was swollen.  So then in the afternoon when I finished cleaning the house and such and my hands felt much smaller I decided now was the time to try that blasted ring on.  Well it went on with the slightest push but...and wait for it...won't come off. :-(  I mean won't come off after soaking in ice water or using oil, lotion, soap, Windex ..I have tried it all.  And since I was now panicking while pulling my finger it was very angry at me.  I spent the next few hours debating on my decisions should I just have this brand new platinum ring cut off my finger, or perhaps the other way around  cut off the finger spare the ring...or worst case scenario would the finger just fall off.  I decided on the taking of water pills and trying like mad to lose any additional weight I can, water weight, fat weight, muscle weight anything that could possibly allow for this ring to pop off my finger.  I have given up all salt and can't drink...since after all drinking makes me swell.  Effectively I am now a sugar free, salt free, sober, vegan...boy if that's not a turn on, I don't know what is.

That is one angry fat finger there, but isn't it a beautiful ring?!?!?

It looks much better this morning but still won't come off.