Bad Mom

I have met women that when not being politically correct (i.e. talking to J) I would call "bad mom's". At the safe house I refuse to use that term because I always believe that in every instance problems can be solved through education. So the fact that a woman or a man cannot properly give their children what they need just comes down the fact that no one has taught them differently.

However with that said, I have to admit that I do about 10 things a day that I suppose I should be judged to beat hell about. Some could say bad mom, some say necessary, but either way I have always hid these things...until now. I think that by not only keeping them inside you poison yourself, but that until J can just admit that there aren't good men out there and go down to the sperm bank and just get things done so I will have someone to vent to that understands...I have to start using this type of forum to say things like -

My daughter is in her crib currently talking away about a ball and some other stuff. 10am is nap time whether she likes it or not. So for 1.5-2 hours she is stuck in her crib. I suppose at this point it isn't much more than just a cage that I use since she can't get out, I am not real sure what I will do when she can crawl over the edge or sleeps in a big girl bed. But for now it gives me a break to install SQL 2005 on a new server (which I am doing while writing this) or get on conference calls or what not. Going one step further into my bad mom retreat here I think even if I didn't work I would sanction some time like this just for a break. Oh yeah and she goes back to her "cage" for an hour in the afternoon too.

She fell off the chair yesterday because she was "horsing around" (see how I just channeled my mother there) and I just smirked at her. I think my reaction, because I had told her to get down 4000 times. surprised her to the point that she just looked down at her legs and wouldn't make eye contact like she was embarrassed. I just shook my head and told her well I bet that hurt huh? I remember growing up with a rather unsympathetic mom and even worse yet brothers who would inflict the pain...and hearing a lot of "hurts don't it". I am trying to be more sympathetic than that, but I am finally understanding why when I broke my arm jumping off the swing sets my Mom said something like "well that's what you get".

Oh yeah and my sweet little daughter started biting a while back, and I broke her of the habit by biting her back. You know just like I would have the dogs. Ahhh, perfect. Her and I trading bites back and forth like we were siblings.